The Liberation battlefield
- article en anglais -
Officially, Amsterdam is very proud of its diversity and its tolerance. With more than 170 different known nationalities, the ex-center of the Dutch empire is still a hub of many trade routes and home to one of the widest (and wildest) varieties of languages and cultures of any city in the world. Every year, the city commemorates Liberation day, which marks the end of the German occupation. What would happen IF any ethnical, political, sexual, or sociological group decided to liberate and arm themselves, and control their own territory?
A ‘fictional-scenario’ map of Amsterdam shows the different militias’ location, in order to display a small section of the population’s diversity that makes Amsterdam so special.
Militias in Amsterdam
East Lotus Wind Triad
Anything built in China and sold in the Netherlands passes through their hands.
Location : around the Binnen Bantammerstraa and the Fo Guang Shan He Hua Temple in Zeedijk + part of the Ooster dock and the Eastern section of the Central Station (2).
HTC Liberation Front (ex-GroenLinks)
Green-Leftwing multicultural armed coalition
Has moved from tolerance and nature-loving to intensive production of marijuana, which they sell to other militias and export all around Europe. Has made alliance with the ex-Taxi drivers mob, the Haitian and the Kosovo gangs located at the Centraal Station (1) to secure distribution and trade routes outside Amsterdam. Still overlap with The Citizen Party’s territories.
Location : Center (3), East (21) around Diemerpark, Ijburg and Eiland Zeeburg for greenhouse production, as well as Osdorperbinnenpolder in East (29)
Mokum Gaon Chmielnicki
Jewish urban militia
Still traumatized by the deportation and the massacre of almost 80% of the prewar Dutch Jewish community by the Nazi, this group fights to preserve its community’s historical assets such as Anne Frank’s statue and Sal-Mejier kosher sandwich joint which have been transferred into a safe location.
Location : area including the Portuguese and the Gerard Dou synagogues, the Jewish Historical Museum and the Hollandsche Schouwburg (4).
Multicultural lesbian, gay, bisexual and queer coalition
Each sexually oriented group fights separately, but they become united in order to defend a common territory where they are not ostracized.
Location: around the Homo Monument (5).
Post-Liberation social network defending free WiFi everywhere in order to be able to browse on their iPad, check their status on FaceBook and sip a latte anytime.
Location : Jordaan (6)
German bicycle thieves gang
Controls the black market of stolen bikes. Engaged in a love / hate relationship with Dutch natives.
Location : Haarlemmbuurt (7)
Atlas Rif Group
3rd generation of Dutch-Moroccans militia
Stands closer to Ahmed Aboutaleb than to Mohammed Bouyeri, but definitely fights for their right to party with Ali B.
Location : dockland Noord 5 & 6 (8, 10) and Zeeburg dockside (11)
Citizen Party (ex-PvdA)
The largest multicultural militia under the leading figure of Job Cohen
Resembles Noah’s Ark and displays the diversity of Amsterdam before the war of Liberation. Three main areas are under the control of three brigades: White trash brigade (N), Guest workers brigade (NW) and Dutch West Indies / Surinamese brigade (SE).
Location : the North (9), the New-West (29) and South-East (21) districts.
Dutch Naval Force
Navy personnel and last remnant of the State legitimacy
Spends time playing cards and surveying traffic on the Noordzee Kanal / Het IJ
Location : Navy barracks (12)
Have added AK74, RPG and seed bombs to their gardening tools to invade several ‘no-man’s land’s, quickly creating in the process a new heaven for flowers, plants and animals returned to wilderness and freedom.
Location : main base around Oosterpark area (13).
Khadiya Arib Assault Section
Turkish / Moroccan united militia
Financed by the Dutch Moroccan Business Women Association and the Tansu Çiller Foundation, partly controls rail and water trade route to the hinterland.
Location : Indische Buurt (14)
Liberal Phalanges (ex-VVD)
Rightwing paramilitary organization
Financed by banking institutions, jobless ex-traders have exchanged their suit and ties with guns and military fatigues.
Location : Oud-West and Oud-Zuid areas around Vondelpark (15)
Hollanda Turkiye Demokratlar Birligi
Ethnic Anatolian Dutch militia
Strong secular second generation of Turkish migrants that secretly revere Mustafa Kemal Atatürk and are openly opposed to the Polder Islamic Front. They are armed directly by the Turkish army to fight against AKP in Holland.
Location : Westerpark and North of Oud West (16)
Non-Religious Non-Humanist militia
Nihilists, hedonists, anarchists, cynics, post-hippies, minimalists, degrowthists, destructionists, punks, all united. And getting older.
Location : Zeeheldenbuurt (17)
Fixed Gear Patrol
Dutch hipster evangelists from Williamsburg / Brooklyn / NYC
Have tried to promote their way of cycling. Most of them have been killed in random accidents. Some of them survive and pedal in one artsy gentrified area.
Location : around the North-West Dockland (18).
BTH (Bijlmer Tree Hugers)
Unarmed Apolitical pagans
Have their own little territory and protect the last few remaining trees of the original public space. Can be spotted at times sleeping naked in trees.
Location : around Bijlmermonument (19)
Suriname Paramaribo Liberation Front (SPLF)
Bush Negroes + Hindoustanis + Javaneses coalition
Organize the yearly Free Amsterdam Football Cup where different militias send their best team. The SPLF wins most of the time.
Location : Diemerpolder (20)
Big Black Booty Bikers (BBBB)
Antilles & Aruba bikers
Spend most of their time doing stunts on the Ring, often accompanied by a big-bootied lady on the back seat. Also do fast and dangerous deliveries for the Hells Angels.
Location : East corner of Amstel Business Park (22)
Hells Angels ‘Dam chapter
Motorcycle gang and crime syndicate
Runs the cocaine / weapons / prostitution business. Imposes taxes on all goods and people moving on the Southern water, rail and road network. Is threatened by the Haitian and Kosovo gangs, who want a bigger share of smuggling activities.
Location : Amstel Business Park (23)
Jewish suburban security organization
Ashkenazi, Sephardic, Ultra orthodox, Reformed and Liberal coalition that tries to preserve Jewish diversity in the «New Jerusalem» area.
Location : Buitenveldert neighborhood (24)
One of the rare militias managed by a council of women, mostly wives of Mitsubishi employees. They cultivate rice on Amsterdamse Bos and protect the territory lines with remote controlled armed robots.
Location : West of Buitenveldert neighborhood and Speelweide area (25)
South Moluccan Brigade
As retribution on the European rivalry to seize the spice trade, these tough fighters control and protect the buffer zone of Zuid Station (a.k.a. New Manhattan), the new international business area of the city.
Location : around the Zuid Station (26)
Polder Islamic Front
United factions of diverse Islamic brigades
Ruled by one of the hidden sons of former Libyan dictator Muammar el-Qaddafi, this armed Wahabite organization is funded by Saudi Arabia and has imposed strict shari’a law. Well known for forbidding women to use bicycles, walk unveiled and unaccompanied in the street, and leaving the house during their ovulation cycle.
Location : De Baarsjes area delimited by the Einsteinweg A1, Kostverlorenvaart, Westelijk Marktkanaal and Haarlemmerweg (27)
Wilder’s Brigade (ex-PVV)
Rightwing Dutch ultranationalist militia
Blue-eyed-bleached-blond-hair Dutch ethnic death squad hunting Muslims. Secretly financed by Saudi Arabia in order to push Dutch/Turkish/Moroccan Muslims into the Polder Islamic Front militia.
Location : the harbor (28)
Multicultural transgender group
Has split from the Homo Front. Consists of individuals trying to reconnect with their original community.
Location : everywhere, except a large unit of transgender Moroccans, rejected by their ethnic peers. They have settled in a no-man’s land in Sloterdijk, near Transformatorweg where they control the trains’ access to the harbor (30).
Hooligans free fighters
Standing on every frontline just for the pleasure of fighting. Control two main access points to the city in order to catch Feyenoord hooligans, their worst enemies.
Location : Sportpark Spieringhorn and Sportpark Voorland (31)